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regasssaTitle: Keep on Spinning
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
regasssa
Pairing: Hichigo/Ishida, Ichigo/Ishida
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~5600
Warnings: Non-con, oral sex, masturbation, spoilers for the Lust arc
Notes: Could be any time after the battle in Hueco Mundo, so assume the boys are over 18. I LOVE YOU! Enjoy this fic! I slaved over it T-T I've missed something out, I think...I'll catch it in a minute. Edit: Oh yeah!
When he closed his eyes he was somewhere else. Just for a second as Ichigo touched him -- as he blinked -- the world dissolved into fractured shards of insanity turned sideward. This time something on the periphery of his vision moved, but it was gone before he could look at it.
The original occurrence, he had thought, was little more than his imagination telling him that he was dying. Since then he'd attempted to reproduce the sensation several times -- to look into that world and see it a little more clearly -- but every time he tried it never seemed to work, as though he were missing some vital ingredient in the process. It didn't work when he touched Ichigo's shoulder, only when he touched bare skin. It didn't work when his eyes were open, only when they were closed. And the trigger word was Ishida. If Ichigo didn't acknowledge his existence then it didn't work at all.
"Ishida," Ichigo had said, his hand covering the mortal wound on his belly, his worried eyes fixed on him -- and he had closed his own, just for a moment, and reality had shattered.
It was harder than he'd expected to fulfill the conditions during a regular school day, especially without drawing suspicion from Ichigo. At first he simply attempted to draw Ichigo's attention by placing his hand on his wrist, but that had quickly turned to suspicion, "Get the hell off, Ishida! Why do you keep touching me like that?"
Instead he had turned to fighting; common, hand to hand fighting where he would insult Ichigo, Ichigo would insult him, and it would end up with him grabbing him by the wrist and spinning him round, or pinning him to the wall, or wrestling him to the floor. Anything to hold his interest and touch bare skin, closing his eyes, reaching for that inner world that belonged only between them.
Whatever it was that was there, he needed to see it; to find out what it was. It was a dominating hunger: a vociferous, all consuming desire that threatened to overwhelm him if he didn't pursue it. That thing on the edge of his vision pressed against his consciousness eagerly, urging him to try again -- again and again and again. It promised that it would reveal itself when the conditions were right. Ishida longed for it -- like a drug -- desperate to feel the thrill shoot through his veins as his skin burned against Ichigo's and he fell into that topsy turvy reality for just a few stolen moments.
The accident in the science lab had been one of his better plans.
In just twenty seconds he had managed to enrage Ichigo and ensure that they were going to be quite alone. It was the middle of a hot school day, and although this dilution of corrosive acid wouldn't be harmful, it would certainly itch if they didn't wash it off. They were ordered to take spare clothes from the school supply and go immediately to the communal showers to wash.
They went in perfect silence; Ichigo not daring to open his mouth because he was furious, and Uryuu not opening his own because he knew when he did, the tide gates would open. He stripped off his acid-soaked clothes in silence, a wild excitement pounding against the wall of his chest, watching Ichigo doing the same out of the corner of his eye. Undressed, he stepped into the spray of water some distance away from Kurosaki, and then he opened his mouth to speak.
But Ichigo beat him to it.
"What the fuck did you do that for, Ishida?"
"Hmm?" Nonchalance, but his heart still thundered in his chest; the thrill leading up to what he was about to do, as though Ichigo were a drug he was about to indulge in.
"I mean --" Ichigo had come across the room now, and his brown eyes were blazing, his hair soaking wet. Rivulets of water ran intricate patterns across his naked body, drawing Ishida's eye. "-- why the hell would you cover me in acid on purpose like that?"
"What makes you think it was on purpose, Kurosaki?"
"You wouldn't do that accidentally."
"Got me."
The wall hit his head -- or rather, his head hit the wall -- so hard that stars danced across the back of his eyes. It didn't matter. Kurosaki's hand was on his throat, holding him tight; skin to skin, and when he closed his eyes to succumb to the dizziness, he plunged into that wonderful twisted world, and the sound of wild laughter welcomed him.
When he opened his eyes again, he was not back in the shower. The world swam into place; a whirl of moving objects coming to a sudden stop as though someone had slammed on the brakes. He found his feet underneath him on what seemed to be the edge of a tower block, between two planes of crystal glass, which reflected blue and bright, betraying nothing of the building within.
So this was it! The world he had been seeing! He looked up toward what should be the top of the tower, then turned around, looking toward the ground. It was a strange sensation; as though he should be falling toward it, only it wasn't down it was sideways. He swayed slightly -- disorientated -- on the spot, then dropped down to one knee to put his hand on the tower block, assuring himself that sideways was down, and down was sideways, and that he was in no danger of falling.
"So ya made it. Finally!"
The source of the voice did not evade him this time. It landed neatly a short distance in front of him; dressed from head to toe in white, gold eyes sparkling with mirth under a shock of white hair. It looked...just like Kurosaki Ichigo. But it wasn't. It couldn't be. He recognised those eyes, and now, as it laughed, he recognised that, too. But it wasn't Ichigo. This was the Hollow inside of him. It simply had to be.
"Where am I?"
"Don't matter where you are, does it?" the Hollow asked, coming closer. "Only matters that I brought ya here. That you wanted to come, and now yer stuck until I let ya go." It flicked out its blue tongue to lick its lips. "Nothing much happens here -- ya'll make a good distraction."
"You want to fight?" Ishida asked, straightening up. He was dressed...well, of course he was dressed. It was an inner world, after all, wasn't it? He supposed that in part his own imagination must be fuelling it; his own mind. But he could tell that this was Kurosaki's inner world, somehow. There were dark clouds gathering in the blue sky.
"Nah...now look what y've done! It's going to fucking rain!" The Hollow vanished, a faint click of heels on glass reaching his ears just before a strong arm closed around his waist. Hot breath burned against the back of his ear, making him flinch away instinctively. "Don't'cha know how much I fucking hate the rain, Ishida?"
Uryuu tried to pull from the Hollow's grip, gritting his teeth when he realised just how strong it was.
"Feel it?"
Feel what?
The Hollow version of Ichigo bumped its hips against him, grinding...grinding its erection into him.
"Ah, shit, Ishida...I've gotta have ya."
It wasn't like him to panic. It wasn't like him to panic at all! Not him, not Ishida Uryuu, the last Quincy. It wasn't like him to flinch away from a Hollow; even one that looked like Ichigo. But that...that wasn't what he'd been expecting! He couldn't let the Hollow do that to him, and if he'd known what had been drawing him here...
Oh god...
With a concerted effort, Uryuu tried to wrench himself away, and the Hollow's arms gave away their grip so that he stumbled from him, crashing to one knee before managing to drag himself upright again. The Hollow only stood back and watched, amused, one hand sliding down, reaching through the gap in his hakama. It stroked itself underneath the fabric, mouth pulled into a startling, terrifying grin.
"I won't let you just have your way with me," Uryuu said, trying to sound braver than he felt.
The Hollow smirked. "Nah, course not. It's kind of ya to make it so much more fun for me, Ishida. It'd kinda suck if you just gave in. See, sex is a bit like fighting, right?"
"I..." Uryuu hesitated, his mouth hanging open. The fact that the monster had said it made it so much more real. This wasn't an illusion. It wasn't mocking him. It meant it. The panic swelled anew at the back of his throat. "You bastard!"
"Nah...it's jus' instinct. I can't help it, ya know?"
Uryuu grit his teeth, staring at the beast, waiting for it to make its move. It'd have been easier if it had, but instead it just stood there, masturbating, watching him hungrily.
"He's not ready for ya yet, Ishida."
His turning stomach froze, just as surely as he'd been hit by one of Captain Hitsugaya's ice attacks. "What?"
"Ya heard me. The King...Ichigo...he ain't quite ready to fuck ya yet. But when he's ready, I'm ready, if ya see what I mean."
"You...you can't! That...you can't just do something like that! It'll hurt!"
The Hollow grinned, pulling its hand free and examining its long, white fingers. "Why? Ya want it to hurt? It ain't gotta unless ya think it's gonna. Are all you humans this thick?"
Uryuu swallowed hard. What the hell was that supposed to mean? It didn't have to hurt unless he wanted it to?
He jumped as the Hollow suddenly flash stepped toward him, stopping with his face mere inches away. "This ain't the real world, Ishida. It's like...only ya mind is here for me to fuck with. It's gonna hurt a lot when ya go back. But here..." It grinned. "Ichigo's been here before, ya know. He's fought here, but he ain't come out with nothing to show for it. No cuts. No scars. Cause he ain't fucking getting beat fer real, only in his head. This is the same thing...only in the real world, Ichigo's takin' advantage of yer unconscious self, get it? An' that's gonna hurt like fuck!"
One snakelike arm closed around the back of his head, fingers tangling in the hair at the back of his neck, leaving Ishida no way to retreat from the Hollow. It didn't kiss him -- it was more like being eaten. The lips closed over his own, and the teeth scraped against the tender skin instantly. It's tongue took advantage of his cry of shock, diving remorselessly into his mouth.
Now the Hollow really did press it's advantage, digging its black fingernails into the base of his skull, sucking Ishida's tongue into his own mouth so that he couldn't possibly bite down in case he caused himself injury. The other hand, not touching him before, now wrapped around his hips, gripping his arse tightly to yank him forward against its own body. As it did that, the teeth bit again at his lips, this time filling the tasteless kiss with the flavour of his own blood. And it hurt -- it did damn well hurt!
When it finally did pull its savage mouth from his own, Uryuu couldn't help feeling as though he'd already been raped. His breath was coming hard and fast, as though he'd been fighting Espada all over again, and his stomach felt as though it had turned inside out. If he wasn't so sure that they had won, he would have suspected that he was still in Szayel's grasp; that this was just another of his experiments, and whatever drug he'd been given to make him think otherwise was beginning to wear off...
"Stop it," he ordered.
"Nah...that's like sayin' 'Don't breathe'. Yer mine, Ishida."
"Since when?" Uryuu hissed, furiously, lifting his hands desperately to push against the Hollow's firm, unyielding chest..
It laughed. "Since I fucking drove Zangetsu through ya. Yer mine, Ishida, and don't ya fucking forget it!"
The world that called to him when he touched Ichigo and closed his eyes. The thing just on the edge of his vision. The sick feeling in his stomach where the sword had pierced him...
"Y'get it now, huh?"
When the Hollow grabbed a handful of his clothing and pulled, the handsewn seams gave way before the fabric, the threads snapping as it was ripped from him. The strength of the monster's effort was enough to break it, but the pressure exerted on Uryuu's shoulders brought him down to his knees.
"I won't let you," Uryuu breathed, drawing his hands up, his cross falling from his sleeve. He formed his bow, then created an arrow, drawing it back. He'd kill the creature from close range before he let it touch him like that.
The Hollow burst out laughing. "If ya do that here, Ishida, are ya plannin' on shooting Ichigo, too? Cause ya will. An' it's not like it's his fault, remember? Ya already forgave him for stabbin' ya."
He'd be shooting Ichigo in the real world? He grit his teeth, the bow vanishing, and the moment it did, the Hollow lunged forward and snatched the cross from him, breaking the chain and tossing it well out of the way. "Fucking dangerous bastard," he snapped. "What the hell were ya trying t'do?"
"You lied," Ishida snapped, "You lied when you said it wasn't going to hurt. It hurt when you dug your nails into me...when you bit my lip." He lifted his hand up, swiping the blood from it, glaring at the Hollow. "It's going to hurt when you..." He froze again, and the Hollow burst out laughing at his hesitation.
"When I fuck ya, Ishida?"
"Don't..."
"When I fuck ya! You got a problem with that? It's what's gonna happen. And yer gonna like it cause I say you are." He laughed again, reaching up to pull away its clothing, throwing the white kimono aside and tearing the hakama off carelessly. It wore a network of black bandages underneath, but these it shed merely by releasing a fierce burst of black energy.
Uryuu tried to work his mind around that instead of noticing anything else, closing his eyes tightly. "You can use Getsuga Tenshou like that?"
"Amazing, ain't it?" The Hollow laughed again, tangling one of its white hands in Ishida's black hair. "Aren't ya at all interested in how it looks? It's gonna be in ya soon, and then ya won't be able t'see it at all!"
Uryuu's eyes stayed closed.
"Ho...?" The Hollow dug its claws into the skin at the back of his neck, making him gasp in pain, and something solid pushed against his lips -- fingers -- nails digging against the tender gums to force his mouth wide open as something heavier and thicker, and all together worse slid into the gap that had been made. "Shoulda kept yer eyes open, huh, Ishida?"
Now he didn't dare open them. He didn't have to to know what was inside his mouth. He didn't need to see the knot of white pubic hair that his nose was pressed into. It was bad enough just hearing the Hollow above him, grunting; feeling that steel, velvet covered shaft driving eagerly into his defenceless mouth. He was drooling; over it, down his chin, his tongue curling against the back of his throat in an effort not to taste it, not swallowing, lest he gag and choke. Every time he tried to react to the intrusion by closing his mouth, the nails dug painfully into his gums, preventing him from doing so.
"Look at ya," the Hollow purred. "Where's yer pride now, Quincy?!"
It thrust deeper into him, until the pain drove tears into the corners of his eyes and his stomach turned over, almost making him vomit, and then it ripped itself free, retreating its fingers before Ishida could even try and bite them off in protest.
Ishida would have moved if there was anywhere to go; if there was anywhere in this crazy excuse for a world where he thought that the Hollow might not be able to follow him. He might have tried harder to resist being thrown onto his back or relieved of his clothing if it wasn't for the crushing knowledge that there was no escape, and that fighting this Hollow would only cause harm to Ichigo in the real world. He couldn't carry that on his conscience!
Wet fingers slid between his now naked legs; the palm of a soft hand pressed undeniably against his testacles, and one of those fingers rubbed a liquid circle across the skin as it was pulled taught, drawing a terrified whimper from Uryuu's throat.
"What's that? I didn't quite hear ya..."
The same slick finger pushed into his body without warning, and now Uryuu made a strangled noise of shock much louder than the whimper that had come before it, his body clamping tight around the intrustion.
"That's more like it, don'tcha think?" The Hollow purred, pushing Ishida's knees up with its free arm, pinning them against his chest, and by extension stopping Ishida from fighting back, even if he had been capable of it. The finger pressed further inside as the force preventing it lessened, making Ishida writhe uncomfortably, his nails scraping desperately against the hard, glassy surface of the building beneath him.
"Stop," he said, begging now, his restraint corrupted to a breaking point. "Please stop!" This wasn't supposed to happen. It shouldn't be possible and it shouldn't be...it shouldn't be so arousing. It didn't hurt physically in the same way that it hurt his pride. Pleading with the Hollow to stop would destroy him in a way that losing his virginity to him never would, but he couldn't help himself. He was desperate; desperately frightened. "Please...please don't!"
His voice cracked, and he twisted his head away, panting as the wriggling finger worked its way further in, stroking upward in long, sweeping movements that forced his shaking body to relax, his muscles not obeying the urge to snap shut on it unless his mind reminded them, belatedly. The finger pressed just a little harder, and Uryuu gasped as a feeling like mild electric shock snapped through him, the force of that sensation burning a hot path up his spine, encouraging his own arousal. His body was betraying him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Instead he found himself taking in sharp, desperate gasps of breath that felt as though they were doing no good at all. Why couldn't he breathe? Why did it feel so nice when he...?
The Hollow twisted its fingers again, laughing out loud when Uryuu bucked underneath him. "Like that, don'tcha, Ishida?" When Uryuu bit his already injured lip instead of answering, it only laughed more. "Oh yeah," it purred, "It's nice, huh?"
Ishida swallowed a little harder than he meant to, then took in a deep breath. Why was it doing this to him? Why was it...being gentle? He wanted to ask, but instead of forming the words he simply blushed, turning his head away again.
"Tsch...I like that..." the Hollow murmured, pressing another slick finger in beside the first, drawing another whimper from Uryuu's throat. His breathing was ragged now; painful. The pressure of his thighs against his chest seemed to be making it so much more difficult. The Hollow was undeniably strong, pushing down in a way that was close to suffocating. It didn't make all that much easier when the Hollow's mouth sought out his erection, his hips aching as he tried to find some way to move into the hot mouth that had wrapped without warning around him. He almost lost control then; his head spinning from lack of air, and only the Hollow's loosening grip across the top of his legs brought him back from the edge of his impending orgasm, letting him drag in a lungful of air that made everything seem brighter and more acute than ever before.
This wasn't just a wet dream, was it? Would he wake up to discover he'd fallen asleep in class, the teacher shaking him, his hands down his pants comically? Nnn...no. Oh no. This wasn't like that. What was it they said? That you couldn't see the face of your lover in your dreams? He couldn't see the Hollow's face now, but that didn't mean that it wasn't there, smirking around him as it ran its slippery blue tongue along the tender shaft of his penis to draw out another broken moan.
The Hollow's teeth grazed against him as the fingers inside twisted. That little touch of hard enamel was enough to thrill Ishida, if only with the fear of what might be. The Hollow could simply bite through his flesh and ravage him at a moment's notice. It was a fickle creature -- it could change its mind in a heartbeat, and Uryuu was sure that even here something like that would hurt, and if it was true that when he left this imaginary world nothing that harmed him here would have happened in real life... No, Ichigo was doing this too. The Hollow had said that his real body would be doing the same thing. In which case, Ichigo's mouth was wrapped around him now, and Ichigo's hair was tickling his skin, and Ichigo's teeth were brushing dangerously against his cock. Ichigo's fingers were buried inside of him. On the shower room floor. Between classes.
Fuck.
He moaned again, twisting his hips upward into the heat of the Hollow's mouth, then down against its fingers, trying to relax himself as another pressed in between the first two. It wasn't nearly as wet, and it hurt more than a little, forcing the muscles to part despite their protest. The tongue on him was trying to keep his attention, lathing eagerly down as far as the base, and then drawing itself along his pulse to make him sob with need. He felt so terrible not to be fighting back, almost as though he had thrown off his own clothes and begged for it. This wasn't fighting, no matter what the Hollow said; he didn't feel like a warrior when he was lying on his back with the Hollows' fingers inside of him like this. He felt like a whore.
What was more terrible still was that he felt almost like he needed it, so that if the creature were to pull away he would have to beg for it to continue.
"The worst thing about it is that only I'm gonna remember how ya look right now, Ishida. He's not gonna see ya flushin' like this, or yer eyes like that. Not ever." The Hollow had retreated to speak, and now it was looking at him with its golden demon eyes, licking almost hungrily at its pale lips. "Ya even think about fuckin' him again an' ya come straight back here. But you an' me, Ishida, we're linked together, so if ya let anyone else touch ya like this, I'll kill 'em. Yer mine. Yer arse, yer mouth, body and soul, an' all that shit. Mine." It's fingers twisted inside of him, as though to punctuate the word, and Ishida couldn't keep his eyes open.
As they closed, he caught just the briefest flash of Ichigo leaning over him in the school showers, the water pouring down over him, hair clinging to his flushed skin, eyes dilated, soft and brown and more beautiful than they had ever looked before. Why did they look beautiful now? The vision vanished, and Uryuu forced his eyes back open, trying to cling to that brief thought as the Hollow grinned ferally down at him. It pulled one of its fingers free, then followed that retreat with the other two, and the feeling of emptiness was the worst that Uryuu felt he had ever endured.
"Tell me to fuck ya, Ishida."
The Hollow's eyes were bright and eager, and it invaded Uryuu's personal space, parting his legs around its body and pulling him closer, gliding its arousal against his own. It felt wonderful, and he needed it, but he couldn't... He couldn't do that.
"Beg me," it ordered, frustrated, holding itself up with one arm, the other only just managing to wrap around both of their arousals, keeping them together as the Hollow thrust wonderfully against him. "Beg!"
"No," Uryuu hissed, resisting.
The Hollow hissed, irritably. "Fucker," it spat. "I'll have ya eatin' outta my hand next time, Ishida."
"There won't be...a next time." It was so hard to breath and his head felt heavy on his neck, stopping him from lifting it to glare at the monster. He couldn't fight any more. He couldn't resist.
The Hollow, however, was much more impatient. It didn't have time to wait for him to give in, so instead it let go, leaning back. He heard it spitting on its hand, and he let his eyes flutter closed again. There! Just as he closed his eyes! The water was stopping him from staring, but it was impossible not to admire Ichigo, leaning over him, wet and handsome, guiding his swollen erection into place between his legs...
With his eyes closed tightly, he couldn't see the Hollow doing it too, but at the first touch of flesh to flesh his eyes opened and he tore in a deep breath, holding it in his lungs, staring. One of the Hollow's hands clawed at his arse, pulling the flesh forcefully apart as it pushed against him, breaching the ring of muscle steadily in a way that sent throbs of pain up his spine, so that they stung at the back of his eyelids like hot needles. It was agony; a bittersweet pain very unlike anything that Uryuu had ever felt before. Nothing like being stabbed. Nothing like having his harm sliced off. It was...oh, it was wonderful. Feeling that good about being in pain...how could it even be possible?
The Hollow laughed, and Uryuu felt the rumble inside of his chest as though he had been laughing himself. He gave up scratching at the hard surface below him, lifting his hands up to dig his nails into the soft flesh of the Hollow's bare back, driving all of the pain out of him with a forced exhalation of the breath he'd been holding.
"Do it," he hissed, urgently, and the Hollow grinned more -- if that was even possible -- and obeyed.
The first few movements were uncomfortable. Even if it wasn't for the unsurity in the Hollow's thrusts, Uryuu wasn't used to the intrusion. Who could be used to it?! It hurt, still, and every movement burned, sending that same sting through him. If it stayed like this he wasn't sure he could take it, and he certainly couldn't enjoy it. Clearly he was right... Saliva wasn't enough for this. But then, the Hollow had threatened worse than that before; threatened to take him as he was because 'it was all in his mind'. If the pain was really only in his mind, it wouldn't feel like this. It wasn't impossible that the pain from the real world was clouding his thoughts, stabbing through between worlds so that he couldn't help but feel it. Would it really hurt more there? Were his cries attracting attention?
That terrible feeling of friction subsided subtly, so that Uryuu couldn't be sure when the thrusts into him had begun to feel so good. His arousal, guttering because of the discomfort and pain, was coming back to life between his pinned legs, and he dug his nails deeper into the Hollow's back to stop himself from reaching for it. It was aching -- it needed to be touched -- and after a moment he had to let go - had to give in to the debasing knowledge that he was enjoying it - and wrapped his hand around his swollen, neglected erection, stroking at it urgently, his eyes fluttering closed again.
He could see. He could almost see Ichigo leaning over him, feel the effort of his muscles as he made each laboured thrust, hear their every parrying grunt and whimper in the echoing emptiness of the shower room, over the sound of the pouring water. Ichigo's tanned thighs trembled each time he drove himself in to the hilt, and he would inhale a desperate breath through the pouring water before he pulled back, his brown eyes almost devoured by the eyelids that concealed them, but somehow managing to keep looking. To keep looking at him. At him, wet and filthy in a pool of warm water with Ichigo's cock buried inside of him. His own real hands were scrabbling on the wet tile floor, his own real hair pooled in the water, his glasses almost completely obscured.
Ichigo's hands slipped for purchase on the floor, then managed to catch hold of Uryuu's hips, nails digging deep into the skin. That little bit of pain was nothing to the violent, blinding pleasure that came to overwhelm it from the new angle that the other boy took, physically pulling Uryuu down with every pounding thrust so that he found himself crying out loudly despite himself, letting his own nails in Ichigo's shoulder sink in a little deeper.
"Harder..."
His own voice startled him. It didn't sound familiar at all, as though he were hearing someone else saying the words he was sure were coming from his own mouth. Ichigo's eyes swam up toward him, as though he'd been roused from sleep -- he could just about see them through the falling water as it ran in clear rivulets over his glasses.
"Fuck me harder, Kurosaki."
He was back now, wasn't he? He'd escaped from that inner world. This was just him and Ichigo, and it felt so good. He didn't care if Ichigo never remembered. He didn't want to remember. But right now he needed it to be harder. He wanted it, even if he never got to do it again. It felt damned good, even if it was all kinds of sinful and wrong.
The thrusting became faster, and then more and more erratic, Ichigo's knees slipping on the wet floor. Uryuu's orgasm came first, washing over him, more wonderful than he had ever felt before; the steamy pleasure boiling in his loins and then spilling, overflowing. The pressure made his head spin, and then all at once it snapped, that bowstring inside of him releasing. His eyes half open, mouth frozen in a cry of pleasure, he watched his ejaculate spatter across Ichigo's chest as though it were happening to someone else and this was just a weird dream. A dream he'd wake up from. He didn't wake up, and Ichigo kept moving, using the increasing tightness of Ishida's spasming muscles to drag him over the edge, too.
Being filled by that -- by Ichigo's come... Nnn... It was the most horrible and yet the most wonderful sensation... Wonderful because it was Ichigo, and horrible because he'd already come, and it felt so nice.
The water kept pouring as they lay there panting, the world somehow still on its axis after everything that had happened, still rotating. The earth hadn't shaken or moved. It was still mid-afternoon on a school day. Water was still coming down instead of going up. He didn't dare let his eyes close like he wanted to in case it all disappeared, but Ichigo fell limp above him, inside him, and he held absolutely still as though afraid to rouse him.
It was only a few seconds later that Ichigo opened his eyes, but it had felt like hours, and he could tell instantly that the time he had spent with Ichigo's unconscious weight over him would be the last peaceful moments of his life.
"Ishida...?"
Horror and revulsion snapped down over Ichigo's face almost instantly. His eyes went dark, and he moved back just far enough to notice that he was inside Ishida, before much more carefully pulling himself free. "Shit," he cursed. "Shit. I didn't... Oh fuck..."
"Kurosaki...it's not..."
"Shut the hell up!" Ichigo managed to get to his feet, despite slipping a little, his hands reaching down to wipe away at the mess on his chest in the spray from the shower. "You did this, didn't you? This is why you've been...touching me like that all the time. Did you knock me unconscious, or something...?"
Uryuu scowled, biting his lip and glaring. So Ichigo wanted to blame this on him, did he? Well he'd...!
He'd let him. The last thing Kurosaki needed right now was to know that his Hollow was out of control. That it had raped him. It would probably be too much. So kindly, despite his best interests, he dropped his head away. "You made it easy, Kurosaki."
The punch to his jaw wasn't exactly unexpected, so he had plenty of time to grit his teeth together to save himself from biting his tongue. He pushed himself up just far enough to glower at Kurosaki as he backed away and grabbed at a towel. "Just keep the fuck away from me, Ishida. Keep the hell away, or I'll kill you."
Even telling himself that they hadn't been friends in the first place didn't make it hurt any less. They had fought together, almost died together...and it was reduced to this? All he had for comfort was the afterglow of his orgasm, but right now it felt shallow and irrelevant. No... No! He wouldn't let that fucking Hollow destroy his relationship with Ichigo. Damnit, he wouldn't let it win!
"Kurosaki," he said, getting to his feet and snapping off the pouring water with a punch of the button controlling it. "We've got to talk. Actually...I'm going to talk, and for once you're going to listen..."
He strode across the room with purpose. Maybe the Hollow was right, he thought, tonguing his injured cheek. Sex was a bit like fighting after all. And this was war.
Author:
regasssa Pairing: Hichigo/Ishida, Ichigo/Ishida
Rating: NC-17
Words: ~5600
Warnings: Non-con, oral sex, masturbation, spoilers for the Lust arc
Notes: Could be any time after the battle in Hueco Mundo, so assume the boys are over 18. I LOVE YOU! Enjoy this fic! I slaved over it T-T I've missed something out, I think...I'll catch it in a minute. Edit: Oh yeah!
When he closed his eyes he was somewhere else. Just for a second as Ichigo touched him -- as he blinked -- the world dissolved into fractured shards of insanity turned sideward. This time something on the periphery of his vision moved, but it was gone before he could look at it.
The original occurrence, he had thought, was little more than his imagination telling him that he was dying. Since then he'd attempted to reproduce the sensation several times -- to look into that world and see it a little more clearly -- but every time he tried it never seemed to work, as though he were missing some vital ingredient in the process. It didn't work when he touched Ichigo's shoulder, only when he touched bare skin. It didn't work when his eyes were open, only when they were closed. And the trigger word was Ishida. If Ichigo didn't acknowledge his existence then it didn't work at all.
"Ishida," Ichigo had said, his hand covering the mortal wound on his belly, his worried eyes fixed on him -- and he had closed his own, just for a moment, and reality had shattered.
It was harder than he'd expected to fulfill the conditions during a regular school day, especially without drawing suspicion from Ichigo. At first he simply attempted to draw Ichigo's attention by placing his hand on his wrist, but that had quickly turned to suspicion, "Get the hell off, Ishida! Why do you keep touching me like that?"
Instead he had turned to fighting; common, hand to hand fighting where he would insult Ichigo, Ichigo would insult him, and it would end up with him grabbing him by the wrist and spinning him round, or pinning him to the wall, or wrestling him to the floor. Anything to hold his interest and touch bare skin, closing his eyes, reaching for that inner world that belonged only between them.
Whatever it was that was there, he needed to see it; to find out what it was. It was a dominating hunger: a vociferous, all consuming desire that threatened to overwhelm him if he didn't pursue it. That thing on the edge of his vision pressed against his consciousness eagerly, urging him to try again -- again and again and again. It promised that it would reveal itself when the conditions were right. Ishida longed for it -- like a drug -- desperate to feel the thrill shoot through his veins as his skin burned against Ichigo's and he fell into that topsy turvy reality for just a few stolen moments.
The accident in the science lab had been one of his better plans.
In just twenty seconds he had managed to enrage Ichigo and ensure that they were going to be quite alone. It was the middle of a hot school day, and although this dilution of corrosive acid wouldn't be harmful, it would certainly itch if they didn't wash it off. They were ordered to take spare clothes from the school supply and go immediately to the communal showers to wash.
They went in perfect silence; Ichigo not daring to open his mouth because he was furious, and Uryuu not opening his own because he knew when he did, the tide gates would open. He stripped off his acid-soaked clothes in silence, a wild excitement pounding against the wall of his chest, watching Ichigo doing the same out of the corner of his eye. Undressed, he stepped into the spray of water some distance away from Kurosaki, and then he opened his mouth to speak.
But Ichigo beat him to it.
"What the fuck did you do that for, Ishida?"
"Hmm?" Nonchalance, but his heart still thundered in his chest; the thrill leading up to what he was about to do, as though Ichigo were a drug he was about to indulge in.
"I mean --" Ichigo had come across the room now, and his brown eyes were blazing, his hair soaking wet. Rivulets of water ran intricate patterns across his naked body, drawing Ishida's eye. "-- why the hell would you cover me in acid on purpose like that?"
"What makes you think it was on purpose, Kurosaki?"
"You wouldn't do that accidentally."
"Got me."
The wall hit his head -- or rather, his head hit the wall -- so hard that stars danced across the back of his eyes. It didn't matter. Kurosaki's hand was on his throat, holding him tight; skin to skin, and when he closed his eyes to succumb to the dizziness, he plunged into that wonderful twisted world, and the sound of wild laughter welcomed him.
When he opened his eyes again, he was not back in the shower. The world swam into place; a whirl of moving objects coming to a sudden stop as though someone had slammed on the brakes. He found his feet underneath him on what seemed to be the edge of a tower block, between two planes of crystal glass, which reflected blue and bright, betraying nothing of the building within.
So this was it! The world he had been seeing! He looked up toward what should be the top of the tower, then turned around, looking toward the ground. It was a strange sensation; as though he should be falling toward it, only it wasn't down it was sideways. He swayed slightly -- disorientated -- on the spot, then dropped down to one knee to put his hand on the tower block, assuring himself that sideways was down, and down was sideways, and that he was in no danger of falling.
"So ya made it. Finally!"
The source of the voice did not evade him this time. It landed neatly a short distance in front of him; dressed from head to toe in white, gold eyes sparkling with mirth under a shock of white hair. It looked...just like Kurosaki Ichigo. But it wasn't. It couldn't be. He recognised those eyes, and now, as it laughed, he recognised that, too. But it wasn't Ichigo. This was the Hollow inside of him. It simply had to be.
"Where am I?"
"Don't matter where you are, does it?" the Hollow asked, coming closer. "Only matters that I brought ya here. That you wanted to come, and now yer stuck until I let ya go." It flicked out its blue tongue to lick its lips. "Nothing much happens here -- ya'll make a good distraction."
"You want to fight?" Ishida asked, straightening up. He was dressed...well, of course he was dressed. It was an inner world, after all, wasn't it? He supposed that in part his own imagination must be fuelling it; his own mind. But he could tell that this was Kurosaki's inner world, somehow. There were dark clouds gathering in the blue sky.
"Nah...now look what y've done! It's going to fucking rain!" The Hollow vanished, a faint click of heels on glass reaching his ears just before a strong arm closed around his waist. Hot breath burned against the back of his ear, making him flinch away instinctively. "Don't'cha know how much I fucking hate the rain, Ishida?"
Uryuu tried to pull from the Hollow's grip, gritting his teeth when he realised just how strong it was.
"Feel it?"
Feel what?
The Hollow version of Ichigo bumped its hips against him, grinding...grinding its erection into him.
"Ah, shit, Ishida...I've gotta have ya."
It wasn't like him to panic. It wasn't like him to panic at all! Not him, not Ishida Uryuu, the last Quincy. It wasn't like him to flinch away from a Hollow; even one that looked like Ichigo. But that...that wasn't what he'd been expecting! He couldn't let the Hollow do that to him, and if he'd known what had been drawing him here...
Oh god...
With a concerted effort, Uryuu tried to wrench himself away, and the Hollow's arms gave away their grip so that he stumbled from him, crashing to one knee before managing to drag himself upright again. The Hollow only stood back and watched, amused, one hand sliding down, reaching through the gap in his hakama. It stroked itself underneath the fabric, mouth pulled into a startling, terrifying grin.
"I won't let you just have your way with me," Uryuu said, trying to sound braver than he felt.
The Hollow smirked. "Nah, course not. It's kind of ya to make it so much more fun for me, Ishida. It'd kinda suck if you just gave in. See, sex is a bit like fighting, right?"
"I..." Uryuu hesitated, his mouth hanging open. The fact that the monster had said it made it so much more real. This wasn't an illusion. It wasn't mocking him. It meant it. The panic swelled anew at the back of his throat. "You bastard!"
"Nah...it's jus' instinct. I can't help it, ya know?"
Uryuu grit his teeth, staring at the beast, waiting for it to make its move. It'd have been easier if it had, but instead it just stood there, masturbating, watching him hungrily.
"He's not ready for ya yet, Ishida."
His turning stomach froze, just as surely as he'd been hit by one of Captain Hitsugaya's ice attacks. "What?"
"Ya heard me. The King...Ichigo...he ain't quite ready to fuck ya yet. But when he's ready, I'm ready, if ya see what I mean."
"You...you can't! That...you can't just do something like that! It'll hurt!"
The Hollow grinned, pulling its hand free and examining its long, white fingers. "Why? Ya want it to hurt? It ain't gotta unless ya think it's gonna. Are all you humans this thick?"
Uryuu swallowed hard. What the hell was that supposed to mean? It didn't have to hurt unless he wanted it to?
He jumped as the Hollow suddenly flash stepped toward him, stopping with his face mere inches away. "This ain't the real world, Ishida. It's like...only ya mind is here for me to fuck with. It's gonna hurt a lot when ya go back. But here..." It grinned. "Ichigo's been here before, ya know. He's fought here, but he ain't come out with nothing to show for it. No cuts. No scars. Cause he ain't fucking getting beat fer real, only in his head. This is the same thing...only in the real world, Ichigo's takin' advantage of yer unconscious self, get it? An' that's gonna hurt like fuck!"
One snakelike arm closed around the back of his head, fingers tangling in the hair at the back of his neck, leaving Ishida no way to retreat from the Hollow. It didn't kiss him -- it was more like being eaten. The lips closed over his own, and the teeth scraped against the tender skin instantly. It's tongue took advantage of his cry of shock, diving remorselessly into his mouth.
Now the Hollow really did press it's advantage, digging its black fingernails into the base of his skull, sucking Ishida's tongue into his own mouth so that he couldn't possibly bite down in case he caused himself injury. The other hand, not touching him before, now wrapped around his hips, gripping his arse tightly to yank him forward against its own body. As it did that, the teeth bit again at his lips, this time filling the tasteless kiss with the flavour of his own blood. And it hurt -- it did damn well hurt!
When it finally did pull its savage mouth from his own, Uryuu couldn't help feeling as though he'd already been raped. His breath was coming hard and fast, as though he'd been fighting Espada all over again, and his stomach felt as though it had turned inside out. If he wasn't so sure that they had won, he would have suspected that he was still in Szayel's grasp; that this was just another of his experiments, and whatever drug he'd been given to make him think otherwise was beginning to wear off...
"Stop it," he ordered.
"Nah...that's like sayin' 'Don't breathe'. Yer mine, Ishida."
"Since when?" Uryuu hissed, furiously, lifting his hands desperately to push against the Hollow's firm, unyielding chest..
It laughed. "Since I fucking drove Zangetsu through ya. Yer mine, Ishida, and don't ya fucking forget it!"
The world that called to him when he touched Ichigo and closed his eyes. The thing just on the edge of his vision. The sick feeling in his stomach where the sword had pierced him...
"Y'get it now, huh?"
When the Hollow grabbed a handful of his clothing and pulled, the handsewn seams gave way before the fabric, the threads snapping as it was ripped from him. The strength of the monster's effort was enough to break it, but the pressure exerted on Uryuu's shoulders brought him down to his knees.
"I won't let you," Uryuu breathed, drawing his hands up, his cross falling from his sleeve. He formed his bow, then created an arrow, drawing it back. He'd kill the creature from close range before he let it touch him like that.
The Hollow burst out laughing. "If ya do that here, Ishida, are ya plannin' on shooting Ichigo, too? Cause ya will. An' it's not like it's his fault, remember? Ya already forgave him for stabbin' ya."
He'd be shooting Ichigo in the real world? He grit his teeth, the bow vanishing, and the moment it did, the Hollow lunged forward and snatched the cross from him, breaking the chain and tossing it well out of the way. "Fucking dangerous bastard," he snapped. "What the hell were ya trying t'do?"
"You lied," Ishida snapped, "You lied when you said it wasn't going to hurt. It hurt when you dug your nails into me...when you bit my lip." He lifted his hand up, swiping the blood from it, glaring at the Hollow. "It's going to hurt when you..." He froze again, and the Hollow burst out laughing at his hesitation.
"When I fuck ya, Ishida?"
"Don't..."
"When I fuck ya! You got a problem with that? It's what's gonna happen. And yer gonna like it cause I say you are." He laughed again, reaching up to pull away its clothing, throwing the white kimono aside and tearing the hakama off carelessly. It wore a network of black bandages underneath, but these it shed merely by releasing a fierce burst of black energy.
Uryuu tried to work his mind around that instead of noticing anything else, closing his eyes tightly. "You can use Getsuga Tenshou like that?"
"Amazing, ain't it?" The Hollow laughed again, tangling one of its white hands in Ishida's black hair. "Aren't ya at all interested in how it looks? It's gonna be in ya soon, and then ya won't be able t'see it at all!"
Uryuu's eyes stayed closed.
"Ho...?" The Hollow dug its claws into the skin at the back of his neck, making him gasp in pain, and something solid pushed against his lips -- fingers -- nails digging against the tender gums to force his mouth wide open as something heavier and thicker, and all together worse slid into the gap that had been made. "Shoulda kept yer eyes open, huh, Ishida?"
Now he didn't dare open them. He didn't have to to know what was inside his mouth. He didn't need to see the knot of white pubic hair that his nose was pressed into. It was bad enough just hearing the Hollow above him, grunting; feeling that steel, velvet covered shaft driving eagerly into his defenceless mouth. He was drooling; over it, down his chin, his tongue curling against the back of his throat in an effort not to taste it, not swallowing, lest he gag and choke. Every time he tried to react to the intrusion by closing his mouth, the nails dug painfully into his gums, preventing him from doing so.
"Look at ya," the Hollow purred. "Where's yer pride now, Quincy?!"
It thrust deeper into him, until the pain drove tears into the corners of his eyes and his stomach turned over, almost making him vomit, and then it ripped itself free, retreating its fingers before Ishida could even try and bite them off in protest.
Ishida would have moved if there was anywhere to go; if there was anywhere in this crazy excuse for a world where he thought that the Hollow might not be able to follow him. He might have tried harder to resist being thrown onto his back or relieved of his clothing if it wasn't for the crushing knowledge that there was no escape, and that fighting this Hollow would only cause harm to Ichigo in the real world. He couldn't carry that on his conscience!
Wet fingers slid between his now naked legs; the palm of a soft hand pressed undeniably against his testacles, and one of those fingers rubbed a liquid circle across the skin as it was pulled taught, drawing a terrified whimper from Uryuu's throat.
"What's that? I didn't quite hear ya..."
The same slick finger pushed into his body without warning, and now Uryuu made a strangled noise of shock much louder than the whimper that had come before it, his body clamping tight around the intrustion.
"That's more like it, don'tcha think?" The Hollow purred, pushing Ishida's knees up with its free arm, pinning them against his chest, and by extension stopping Ishida from fighting back, even if he had been capable of it. The finger pressed further inside as the force preventing it lessened, making Ishida writhe uncomfortably, his nails scraping desperately against the hard, glassy surface of the building beneath him.
"Stop," he said, begging now, his restraint corrupted to a breaking point. "Please stop!" This wasn't supposed to happen. It shouldn't be possible and it shouldn't be...it shouldn't be so arousing. It didn't hurt physically in the same way that it hurt his pride. Pleading with the Hollow to stop would destroy him in a way that losing his virginity to him never would, but he couldn't help himself. He was desperate; desperately frightened. "Please...please don't!"
His voice cracked, and he twisted his head away, panting as the wriggling finger worked its way further in, stroking upward in long, sweeping movements that forced his shaking body to relax, his muscles not obeying the urge to snap shut on it unless his mind reminded them, belatedly. The finger pressed just a little harder, and Uryuu gasped as a feeling like mild electric shock snapped through him, the force of that sensation burning a hot path up his spine, encouraging his own arousal. His body was betraying him, and there was nothing he could do to stop it. Instead he found himself taking in sharp, desperate gasps of breath that felt as though they were doing no good at all. Why couldn't he breathe? Why did it feel so nice when he...?
The Hollow twisted its fingers again, laughing out loud when Uryuu bucked underneath him. "Like that, don'tcha, Ishida?" When Uryuu bit his already injured lip instead of answering, it only laughed more. "Oh yeah," it purred, "It's nice, huh?"
Ishida swallowed a little harder than he meant to, then took in a deep breath. Why was it doing this to him? Why was it...being gentle? He wanted to ask, but instead of forming the words he simply blushed, turning his head away again.
"Tsch...I like that..." the Hollow murmured, pressing another slick finger in beside the first, drawing another whimper from Uryuu's throat. His breathing was ragged now; painful. The pressure of his thighs against his chest seemed to be making it so much more difficult. The Hollow was undeniably strong, pushing down in a way that was close to suffocating. It didn't make all that much easier when the Hollow's mouth sought out his erection, his hips aching as he tried to find some way to move into the hot mouth that had wrapped without warning around him. He almost lost control then; his head spinning from lack of air, and only the Hollow's loosening grip across the top of his legs brought him back from the edge of his impending orgasm, letting him drag in a lungful of air that made everything seem brighter and more acute than ever before.
This wasn't just a wet dream, was it? Would he wake up to discover he'd fallen asleep in class, the teacher shaking him, his hands down his pants comically? Nnn...no. Oh no. This wasn't like that. What was it they said? That you couldn't see the face of your lover in your dreams? He couldn't see the Hollow's face now, but that didn't mean that it wasn't there, smirking around him as it ran its slippery blue tongue along the tender shaft of his penis to draw out another broken moan.
The Hollow's teeth grazed against him as the fingers inside twisted. That little touch of hard enamel was enough to thrill Ishida, if only with the fear of what might be. The Hollow could simply bite through his flesh and ravage him at a moment's notice. It was a fickle creature -- it could change its mind in a heartbeat, and Uryuu was sure that even here something like that would hurt, and if it was true that when he left this imaginary world nothing that harmed him here would have happened in real life... No, Ichigo was doing this too. The Hollow had said that his real body would be doing the same thing. In which case, Ichigo's mouth was wrapped around him now, and Ichigo's hair was tickling his skin, and Ichigo's teeth were brushing dangerously against his cock. Ichigo's fingers were buried inside of him. On the shower room floor. Between classes.
Fuck.
He moaned again, twisting his hips upward into the heat of the Hollow's mouth, then down against its fingers, trying to relax himself as another pressed in between the first two. It wasn't nearly as wet, and it hurt more than a little, forcing the muscles to part despite their protest. The tongue on him was trying to keep his attention, lathing eagerly down as far as the base, and then drawing itself along his pulse to make him sob with need. He felt so terrible not to be fighting back, almost as though he had thrown off his own clothes and begged for it. This wasn't fighting, no matter what the Hollow said; he didn't feel like a warrior when he was lying on his back with the Hollows' fingers inside of him like this. He felt like a whore.
What was more terrible still was that he felt almost like he needed it, so that if the creature were to pull away he would have to beg for it to continue.
"The worst thing about it is that only I'm gonna remember how ya look right now, Ishida. He's not gonna see ya flushin' like this, or yer eyes like that. Not ever." The Hollow had retreated to speak, and now it was looking at him with its golden demon eyes, licking almost hungrily at its pale lips. "Ya even think about fuckin' him again an' ya come straight back here. But you an' me, Ishida, we're linked together, so if ya let anyone else touch ya like this, I'll kill 'em. Yer mine. Yer arse, yer mouth, body and soul, an' all that shit. Mine." It's fingers twisted inside of him, as though to punctuate the word, and Ishida couldn't keep his eyes open.
As they closed, he caught just the briefest flash of Ichigo leaning over him in the school showers, the water pouring down over him, hair clinging to his flushed skin, eyes dilated, soft and brown and more beautiful than they had ever looked before. Why did they look beautiful now? The vision vanished, and Uryuu forced his eyes back open, trying to cling to that brief thought as the Hollow grinned ferally down at him. It pulled one of its fingers free, then followed that retreat with the other two, and the feeling of emptiness was the worst that Uryuu felt he had ever endured.
"Tell me to fuck ya, Ishida."
The Hollow's eyes were bright and eager, and it invaded Uryuu's personal space, parting his legs around its body and pulling him closer, gliding its arousal against his own. It felt wonderful, and he needed it, but he couldn't... He couldn't do that.
"Beg me," it ordered, frustrated, holding itself up with one arm, the other only just managing to wrap around both of their arousals, keeping them together as the Hollow thrust wonderfully against him. "Beg!"
"No," Uryuu hissed, resisting.
The Hollow hissed, irritably. "Fucker," it spat. "I'll have ya eatin' outta my hand next time, Ishida."
"There won't be...a next time." It was so hard to breath and his head felt heavy on his neck, stopping him from lifting it to glare at the monster. He couldn't fight any more. He couldn't resist.
The Hollow, however, was much more impatient. It didn't have time to wait for him to give in, so instead it let go, leaning back. He heard it spitting on its hand, and he let his eyes flutter closed again. There! Just as he closed his eyes! The water was stopping him from staring, but it was impossible not to admire Ichigo, leaning over him, wet and handsome, guiding his swollen erection into place between his legs...
With his eyes closed tightly, he couldn't see the Hollow doing it too, but at the first touch of flesh to flesh his eyes opened and he tore in a deep breath, holding it in his lungs, staring. One of the Hollow's hands clawed at his arse, pulling the flesh forcefully apart as it pushed against him, breaching the ring of muscle steadily in a way that sent throbs of pain up his spine, so that they stung at the back of his eyelids like hot needles. It was agony; a bittersweet pain very unlike anything that Uryuu had ever felt before. Nothing like being stabbed. Nothing like having his harm sliced off. It was...oh, it was wonderful. Feeling that good about being in pain...how could it even be possible?
The Hollow laughed, and Uryuu felt the rumble inside of his chest as though he had been laughing himself. He gave up scratching at the hard surface below him, lifting his hands up to dig his nails into the soft flesh of the Hollow's bare back, driving all of the pain out of him with a forced exhalation of the breath he'd been holding.
"Do it," he hissed, urgently, and the Hollow grinned more -- if that was even possible -- and obeyed.
The first few movements were uncomfortable. Even if it wasn't for the unsurity in the Hollow's thrusts, Uryuu wasn't used to the intrusion. Who could be used to it?! It hurt, still, and every movement burned, sending that same sting through him. If it stayed like this he wasn't sure he could take it, and he certainly couldn't enjoy it. Clearly he was right... Saliva wasn't enough for this. But then, the Hollow had threatened worse than that before; threatened to take him as he was because 'it was all in his mind'. If the pain was really only in his mind, it wouldn't feel like this. It wasn't impossible that the pain from the real world was clouding his thoughts, stabbing through between worlds so that he couldn't help but feel it. Would it really hurt more there? Were his cries attracting attention?
That terrible feeling of friction subsided subtly, so that Uryuu couldn't be sure when the thrusts into him had begun to feel so good. His arousal, guttering because of the discomfort and pain, was coming back to life between his pinned legs, and he dug his nails deeper into the Hollow's back to stop himself from reaching for it. It was aching -- it needed to be touched -- and after a moment he had to let go - had to give in to the debasing knowledge that he was enjoying it - and wrapped his hand around his swollen, neglected erection, stroking at it urgently, his eyes fluttering closed again.
He could see. He could almost see Ichigo leaning over him, feel the effort of his muscles as he made each laboured thrust, hear their every parrying grunt and whimper in the echoing emptiness of the shower room, over the sound of the pouring water. Ichigo's tanned thighs trembled each time he drove himself in to the hilt, and he would inhale a desperate breath through the pouring water before he pulled back, his brown eyes almost devoured by the eyelids that concealed them, but somehow managing to keep looking. To keep looking at him. At him, wet and filthy in a pool of warm water with Ichigo's cock buried inside of him. His own real hands were scrabbling on the wet tile floor, his own real hair pooled in the water, his glasses almost completely obscured.
Ichigo's hands slipped for purchase on the floor, then managed to catch hold of Uryuu's hips, nails digging deep into the skin. That little bit of pain was nothing to the violent, blinding pleasure that came to overwhelm it from the new angle that the other boy took, physically pulling Uryuu down with every pounding thrust so that he found himself crying out loudly despite himself, letting his own nails in Ichigo's shoulder sink in a little deeper.
"Harder..."
His own voice startled him. It didn't sound familiar at all, as though he were hearing someone else saying the words he was sure were coming from his own mouth. Ichigo's eyes swam up toward him, as though he'd been roused from sleep -- he could just about see them through the falling water as it ran in clear rivulets over his glasses.
"Fuck me harder, Kurosaki."
He was back now, wasn't he? He'd escaped from that inner world. This was just him and Ichigo, and it felt so good. He didn't care if Ichigo never remembered. He didn't want to remember. But right now he needed it to be harder. He wanted it, even if he never got to do it again. It felt damned good, even if it was all kinds of sinful and wrong.
The thrusting became faster, and then more and more erratic, Ichigo's knees slipping on the wet floor. Uryuu's orgasm came first, washing over him, more wonderful than he had ever felt before; the steamy pleasure boiling in his loins and then spilling, overflowing. The pressure made his head spin, and then all at once it snapped, that bowstring inside of him releasing. His eyes half open, mouth frozen in a cry of pleasure, he watched his ejaculate spatter across Ichigo's chest as though it were happening to someone else and this was just a weird dream. A dream he'd wake up from. He didn't wake up, and Ichigo kept moving, using the increasing tightness of Ishida's spasming muscles to drag him over the edge, too.
Being filled by that -- by Ichigo's come... Nnn... It was the most horrible and yet the most wonderful sensation... Wonderful because it was Ichigo, and horrible because he'd already come, and it felt so nice.
The water kept pouring as they lay there panting, the world somehow still on its axis after everything that had happened, still rotating. The earth hadn't shaken or moved. It was still mid-afternoon on a school day. Water was still coming down instead of going up. He didn't dare let his eyes close like he wanted to in case it all disappeared, but Ichigo fell limp above him, inside him, and he held absolutely still as though afraid to rouse him.
It was only a few seconds later that Ichigo opened his eyes, but it had felt like hours, and he could tell instantly that the time he had spent with Ichigo's unconscious weight over him would be the last peaceful moments of his life.
"Ishida...?"
Horror and revulsion snapped down over Ichigo's face almost instantly. His eyes went dark, and he moved back just far enough to notice that he was inside Ishida, before much more carefully pulling himself free. "Shit," he cursed. "Shit. I didn't... Oh fuck..."
"Kurosaki...it's not..."
"Shut the hell up!" Ichigo managed to get to his feet, despite slipping a little, his hands reaching down to wipe away at the mess on his chest in the spray from the shower. "You did this, didn't you? This is why you've been...touching me like that all the time. Did you knock me unconscious, or something...?"
Uryuu scowled, biting his lip and glaring. So Ichigo wanted to blame this on him, did he? Well he'd...!
He'd let him. The last thing Kurosaki needed right now was to know that his Hollow was out of control. That it had raped him. It would probably be too much. So kindly, despite his best interests, he dropped his head away. "You made it easy, Kurosaki."
The punch to his jaw wasn't exactly unexpected, so he had plenty of time to grit his teeth together to save himself from biting his tongue. He pushed himself up just far enough to glower at Kurosaki as he backed away and grabbed at a towel. "Just keep the fuck away from me, Ishida. Keep the hell away, or I'll kill you."
Even telling himself that they hadn't been friends in the first place didn't make it hurt any less. They had fought together, almost died together...and it was reduced to this? All he had for comfort was the afterglow of his orgasm, but right now it felt shallow and irrelevant. No... No! He wouldn't let that fucking Hollow destroy his relationship with Ichigo. Damnit, he wouldn't let it win!
"Kurosaki," he said, getting to his feet and snapping off the pouring water with a punch of the button controlling it. "We've got to talk. Actually...I'm going to talk, and for once you're going to listen..."
He strode across the room with purpose. Maybe the Hollow was right, he thought, tonguing his injured cheek. Sex was a bit like fighting after all. And this was war.